Archive for August, 2008

Engie Unlockables

August 30, 2008

Like everyone else, I play TF2, and like everyone else, I’ve got ideas. Ideas for the new unlockables coming out for every class. Three down, six to go. I have ideas floating around for most, but my most solid ones are for the engineer. Here they are (Sorry if anybody has similar or identical ideas as mine, but I have a blog).

  • Upgrades that allow sentries of level one and two to score critical hits. I feel this’d be good because sometimes your sentries’ll get blown up before you can get them to level three, when they get truly powerful. This’d help prevent their destruction
  • Give engies the ability to lay down ammunition and health pick-ups. They’d have five total, left and right mouse button, which couldn’t be restocked. This would migrate the engies from a defense to a support class. Unfortunately, like all health and ammo kits, enemies would be able to pick these up as well.
  • Ubercharging dispensers that give players an uber that’s deployable at will, but is low health and takes less time to sap. This would help a team that has no medics playing, as is often the case. Or maybe it’d just fill up a medic’s ubercharge as it heals him.

Why would you do that?

August 27, 2008

Stupid sell-outs! I love reading all the articles on Cracked, my favourites being Michael Swaim’s stuff, Hate by Numbers, and the now-defunct News on Cracked. For some reason, probably monetary, the site’s decided to put up big banners promoting Disaster Movie. They had one up before promoting Pineapple Express, but I thought they had some sort of deeper involvement. I guess they’re just a site that has stupid ads now.

Disaster Movie will suck. We all know it. All the “Movie” movies after Scary Movie 2 sucked anal ass. Date Movie, Superhero Movie, Epic Movie. All turd-zingers. So why would a good site do this? They even said themselves how crap Epic Movie was, but strangely I can’t find that article. They said that there just straight up wasn’t a single joke in the whole film. It bet Norbit, a close second and claimed the award for the worst film of 2007. I may not visit cracked as frequently any more.

No Particular Title

August 25, 2008

I’m getting there. I’ve got almost all my heavy gear. I’ve just to get the Killing Gloves of Boxing, ludicriously oversized boxing gloves that give the player five seconds of guaranteed critical hits for every kill he makes with them. The time stacks up too, so if you kill multiple enemies in quick succession, you’ll have more time to mow them down with your other new weapon, Natasha, the new minigun. It does less damage, so you’re unlikely to win one on one against another heavy, but it slows down any enemy you shoot, which is good for taking out retreating foes. Then again, you can forget about it all, just sit back, relax, and eat a Sandvich. It gives you more health, and you’re got an unlimited supply, theoretically allowing you to live forever. Or at least to the round’s end. Once I get the KGB, I’ll have to just sit back and wait for the next pack of unlockables. I love valve, for all the work they’re putting into this, releasing a constant stream of new updates to their game. I wonder what class’ pack will be released next.

Random Websites

August 21, 2008

One interesting thing about the internet is how seemingly endlessly immense it is. There are so many websites that it’s baffling. Could somebody see them all? I’m certain I couldn’t. So, if I’m bored, I mightn’t leave the findin’ up to me. I might use The Random Website Generator. What it does is, well… it just links you to a random website, of course. So you click the big 50s man, and away you go, sent to a random website. Let’s look at some of the site I find

Some irate, anti-Intel ex-employees

A Broken Link

The Guggenheim Museum

The Opera Company of Philidelphia

A guy’s website who I have a feeling nobody’s ever visited. Welcome to my world

Not a real website

I feel prepared food is the best kind of food

One particular page from a linux technical site

And one more for good luck…

Goddamn you Kenneth! You ruined everything

So that concludes the laziest post ever. Talk about making things easy for people. I went on a website, used for finding websites, and I found a bunch of websites for you people to visit. You guys are unbelievable!

That’s Heavy, Doc

August 16, 2008

So the heavy update for Team Fortress 2 is very, very close. Two of his unlockable weapons have been revealed; boxing gloves and a new minigun. I love how game’s unlockables stretch the limitations and write new rules as they come along, like the medic sapping health and the heavy slowing down his enemies. It gets more inventive as it goes along, and this is only the third unlockable set! Who knows what they’re planning for the rest of the classes. Other than valve of course.

So once again, we’ll see some achievment farming, everyone playing as a heavy, and oohs and aahs as the first few people get their unlockables. The only beef I have is that the heavy’s stuff doesn’t reall have the same wow factor for me as say, the pyro’s stuff did, because there isn’t such a huge redesign. Having said that, I’m sure Valve will have me eating those words by tomorrow, perhaps, as they unveil the shotgun replacement. Speaking of eating…

Sandwiches? We shall have to wait and see

Get behind me doctor!

Get behind me doctor!

Got Milk?

August 14, 2008

So I’m looking at these Got Milk? ads, alright? I’m sorta like, it’s good that they’re promoting milk consumption, because people just don’t get enough nutrition these days. It’s a wise idea to have celebrities and sports stars in the ads, so that Average Joe will think “golly, she drinks milk!?”. There’s a time when it seems to get a little strange.

For instance, when Tony Hawk tells you that he’s invented a back-catalogue of tricks, and then credits it to milk, rather than, say, practising or something, this may mislead the audience.

Another Got Milk? ad which doesn’t really make sense are the comic books ones. You’ll see Batman, the Hulk and Spider-Man all with milk moustaches, talking about why they love milk and how it helps them. Thinking about it though, The Hulk probably doesn’t drink milk. Maybe Bruce Banner does, but I don’t think his radioactive, green, rampaging alter-ego would. Spider-Man’s GM ad leaves me a little confused. The milk moustache is over his mask. Obviously so you can see it, but… he wouldn’t have drank it. Plus wouldn’t there be a huge load of milk poured straight down his face aswell, seeing as it didn’t go in his mouth?

I’m just sayin’

A Winner is Me

August 8, 2008

I neglected to mention a recent triumph of mine. I was fortunate enough to be the artist behind the Guess the Game picture in this month’s PC Gamer, issue 191. This meant that my illustration was chosen above all others, and I shall justly reap my reward. My reapage will take form in “the top ten chart games from”, which is an overwhelmingly generous gift from my favourite magazine. I find PC Gamer to be a much more readable publication that other games magazines. Maybe it’s the humourous writing, maybe it’s their often exclusive features and reviews they can get, or maybe it’s their dedication to their reader base, giving away ten games left right and centre. I for one have been reading PC Gamer since 1999, and it’s never waned in quality.

Anywho, the games I expect to receive soon are:

WoW, WoW: Burning Crusade, Football Manager 08, Guild Wars Prophecies, The Sims 2: Pets, BF2, The Sims 2: University, The Sims 2:Nightlife, The Sims 2:Open for Business, and Age of Empires 3.

Some pretty handsome games. Even though I don’t think I’ll play WoW, I don’t like football, or the Sims. Plus I never really got into Age of Empires. I have Battlefield 2, also. But hey! Free Guild Wars.

Waaaait… That’s the first ten games from’s “All Time Top 100″There’s another list, the Top PC Games Sellers. Could it be those that I get? Let’s see what that comprises of…

The Sims 2: Ikea Stuff, CoD4, International Cricket Captain 08, Crysis, WoW, Sims 2: Free Time, The Lost Crown: A Ghost Hunting Adventure, Assassin’s Creed: Director’s Cut, Mass Effect, ArmA: Gold Edition.

Cod4? Assassin’s Creed? Mass Effect? Armed Assault?


I do hope it’s that one

Here’s my winning entry. Can you guess what it is?

Two-Week Recap

August 6, 2008

I’m back from England. It was pretty good. I saw The Dark Knight twice, which was utterly fantastic, both times. I may see it again.

…And Morgan Freeman was in a car crash, after appearing in The Dark Knight.
…And Heath Ledger was in a death crash, after appearing in the Dark Knight.


I picked up a copy of Dark Messiah, a game that I’ve been considering getting for forever. I hope it’s good. Metacritic says it’s 72% good. The demo was good. I think I’ll play through as a rogue-styled guy at first, maybe then branch out, see how it goes.

I bought lots of nice things in England, but I need x-rays. That’s travel for ya. Always breaking bones on ya