Archive for May, 2008

My dream guitar

May 30, 2008

I’d pretty much just love an explorer with a strat headstock, some EMG pickups and some Ernie Ball strings. That’d be fairly nice. I suppose Warmoth are the people for this jizz-jazz, though ebay could also do the trick. If I got an Epiphone explorer instead of a Gibson, would better hardware on it compensate for the price difference?

Anywho, it’d look cool. I mean come on, imagine it…



I blutsauer’d your mother

May 28, 2008

Just kidding, she’s a nice lady.

Speaking of blutsauers, I unlocked mine today, the first unlockable piece of equiptment in TF2. You get it for achieving 12… achievments, and I’m on 14 or so. All thanks to achievementbox_b3, a whacky map designed entirely for achievements. Chris has a more in-depth look at it on his blog.

Anywho, I’m quite pleased with my new little toy. It’s quite lovely

Just look at it:


Personally, I feel that it’s the most practical perk out of the three, namely: The blutsauer, the kritzkreig and the ubersaw. Sure, the kritzkreig will give you all-crits for 10 seconds, and the ubersaw charges your ubercharge as you stab people, but come on, a vampire needlegun! That defies physics. If anything, you should give them health, because the needles are flying into your opposition. I’m not complaining though, it’s sweeet.

Quadruple Bypass

May 27, 2008

That title has a double meaning, relevant of my social on-goings.

Two days ago Alex and I visited Supermac’s, an irish fast-food chain. The food’s the most unhealthy stuff ever. That’s one delicious burger, I thought, as calories upon calories piled into my belly. “You know what we should do? We should buy like, eight of these things tomorrow, and just eat them all.” We stuck to our plan, and rendezvoused in the evening at Supermac’s. We misjudged the price, and instead, bought eleven cheeseburgers. I really think if I ever see a doctor about this, he’d just be like “Eleven. Cheese. Burgers”.  I can’t blame him. The burgers were oily, the meat was wooden, the ketchup was sugary, and the cheese was anything but cheese. We had five and a half burgers each. By the first, we were full, but we persevered. By our third each, it was becoming a challenge to swallow. We had trouble breathing. I had to check my heart every thirty seconds or so to see if it was still beating. It was hell. The last burger was cold, but we simultaneously downed them, chewing quickly and vacuuming down large chunks. After the ordeal, depression set in. Why was I doing this? It was the first of hopefully many insane things to do in the summer, but still, what is wrong with my life that eleven cheeseburgers seems a good idea. Oh well

The second thing this post’s title references is Team Fortress 2. I’m working hard on the achievements, more specifically the medic ones. I’ve got a handful so far, but plenty more to go. It’s really good fun trying to get some, like synchronising a triple uber-charge deployment, but it’s great fun. Medic’s now rocketed up from least to most-played class.

I’ve also been playing a little bit of the Quake 3-based multiplayer game, Open Arena. I joined a game, and in the few minutes I was there, I went from the bottom of the table to fourth place. I won the next match 🙂

Just try and match my rail skills, fool.

Snipe Alive

May 25, 2008

So I was reading the new PC Gamer I bought today, so I was. And in it, they had an article “Class-ical Music”, which had a bunch of TF2 themed songs, tailored to various classes. They were mainly remixes of some of the classes’ dialog (I particularly liked the Engie Dragonforce one). So then I read the box for one of my favourite classes, the Sniper. I’m shocked to see that there is merely lyrics for a song, based off Portal’s excellent song, Still Alive.

PCG: “If any sweet-voiced reader has the guys to sing them, there’s a great piano verson of the Still Alive music to back you up here…”

Why yes I am!

So I slaved over recording the song, singing along with the lyrics, chopping bits, re-recording other bits. I tell you, it’d be nice to be in a proper studio. There, I’d have a dude cuing up all the sound while I read the lyrics, rather than me having to quickly tap the buttons from Audacity to the firefox window with the words. And sadly, in the end, there was no studio magic to help with my terrible microphone’s criminal washing out. Anyway, I’m giving you, the readers (yeah, both of you) a sneak peak at the song before it hopefully appears in PC Gamer. There it is, in ultimate sketchy form, because wordpress wouldn’t let me upload the mp3 to the site. I’ll find a safer method soon. PCG Rocks, I’m outtie

I have an announcement:

May 22, 2008

well it is for me, anyway. see you in uniform again in September, losers!

A lot of changes are coming to my school next year. For one, the current principal is retiring, but I didn’t cry too much over that. Secondly, the school’s ownership is allegedly being handed over by the christian brothers who live there to government control, the ‘man, dude, and so it’ll be like, either a catholic, yet governmentally-monitored school, or it will just become a total public school, with no religious influence. I often hang out in the chapel, playing music and stuff, so it’ll be lame to see that go, if it must. We shall see

And we’re live!

May 21, 2008

Finally got the internet in my room, on my super-duper computer. Sadly, it’s the weakest connection ever. It’s 2 out of 5 green bars of strength, in a manner of speaking. This could be due to the distance, the receiver being crappy, or my two brothers, my father and anyone else using the family pc, all on the internet simultaneously. Only time shall tell. Hopefully it’ll speed up after a while, because I really want to get my pwn on. Blazin’ in TF2 with 120 FPS, the HDR in my eyes as the ultra-high quality textures and models animate the scenes of violence. The stuff dreams are made of. Plus, with the internet, I can satisfy my hunger for internet goodies such as, MSN, game mods, free indie games and other… interests. Such as writing this blog!

Speaking of other “interests”, though I stress the following is not one of my own, I was thoroughly disturbed recently. I know this guy, and there was a video of him being tickled on youtube. He screamed like a little girl. Now I heard through the grapevine that there was a rather disconcerting comment posted on the video in question. I must check that out, for a jolly good laugh, I decided.

Cute hehe 🙂 said the comment. Who would post such a thing about a little man-on-man tickling I wonder ?

So I went to his page. And I looked at the comments. Thanks for your comment, and stuff of the sort. Comments of which videos? Let’s look at his favourites

Foot fetish videos. Around twenty-something foot fetish videos. I was like WOAH. They showed asian boys showing off their feet, and dudes licking one another’s toes. Ewww. Can you do a dirty foot strip? Like with shoes and no socks, and then take them off? Read a comment on one vid. Eurghuck. Rank, man, fairly rank.

“Is that… okay?”

May 20, 2008

So the other day me and buddy Al were walking around Lidl, a low-cost german food store which has taken the nation by storm with their 3c ham and €2 microwave dinners. There we were, walking around, snooping for treaty-weeties and whatnot, when we spied something horrifying. It’s not like I was specifically trying to notice this thing, but it just popped into the corner of my eye. Yes, it was indeed the thing that my other comrades , Dave and Dean had mentioned before, a pair of girls underpants. Simon, you pervert, you say, why were you looking at them? Well, my good man, it was difficult to not look at it, considering the acceptionally ambiguous packaging.

Now, when clothes are sold, like a t-shirt or something, the packaging, if it comes in some, would naturally exhibit the clothes being modeled by someone. The story was the same case for this. But the horror was, the toddler model was naked entirely other than those small underpants.

Now I, personally, and stop me if I’m wrong, feel that it’s a little unacceptable to have such advertising shown. It’s not only public indecency, but it’s also borderline child pornography. I’m sure the clothing company didn’t intend to have it come off like that, but sadly, in today’s horrendous society, some people will take some pleasure from little naked children. I mean, just due to human nature, I don’t want to have to see that kind of thing in day to day life, out of fear of what other people will think. It’s just like, a bad situation to be caught in. So yeah, dear German clothes company, please don’t put naked little girls on your packaging. That’s not quite the status quo

Update whydoncha

May 17, 2008

I’m getting a little annoyed that some people aren’t updating their blogs all that frequently. I’m hooked on reading their whacky exploits of game-development and non-adventuring, but I’m not seeing new stuff all that often. Since I’ve started blogging, I can relate to how, like getting out of the bed in the morning, or murdering clowns, it’s kind of hard to just start writing a blog. Like those things, however, it’s also good to get them over and done with quickly, and be satisfied with the finished product. It’s difficult work for Chris, writing about Nondrick, because he’s got to play the game for one game day, write about it, take pictures, and then post it all. But there also hasn’t been anything posted in the last few days on 1fort (I sure as hell hope that the guys haven’t died or something, and now I’ve called them lazy and their family will be like “how could you!?” and then I’ll be all “Hey, it’s not my fault that they’re lazy-bones).

In other news, my new pc arrived. It’s so lovely. It’s got Core 2 Quad at 2.6Ghz, pre-overclocked 8800GTS 512, and 2GB of Corsair RAM. It’s quite delicious indeed. I’m running Vista, which is quite good indeed. It’s very straightforward and intuitive, and with Service Pack 1, it’s smoother than a dead clown’s pancreatic lining. The people that whine about Vista have definitely never used it. It’s even great for games. I mean, come on, Crysis with everything on high in DirectX 10 is just jaw-dropping. My jaw dropped, I tells ya!

Here are some really crap photographs, except for the last one, because that was when I turned up the res from 800×600 to something like 3250×2900 or something

I’ve had this idea for a while

May 15, 2008

Rockin\' out in 1987!

Hit the note! Quickly!

May 13, 2008

And now a new segment, possibly never to reappear

He Does

I wonder if anyone’s made a “To Catch a Predator” joke where they catch, literally, a predator

like this dude: One ugly mother-F